A Charmed Life: Life's a Play!

am i living a rich life?


i do think i'm living a simple life..
because i am.


i have simple things, i eat simple things, i do simple things.


i read, i write, i relax.


i stroll in the woods
i lay down under the tree
i eat blueberry cheesecake cake while watching gorgeous dancing.


i drink coffee and chat with friends
i go to the movies
i go to parties if someone pulls me out of my cave.


sometimes i think i'm very lucky
and i think i am.
and i am...


but why do some people just don't get it?
they think i'm 'wasting' something?
letting go of opportunities?
i see how they live their lives.


it's not how life is to be lived at all,
full of suffering, struggle...


but they do not know/think so...
they think that's the way life is to be lived.
the usual, the normal.
since when? since our primate ancestors?
can't we not evolve?


i want to respect the way they 'choose' to live their lives
and i demand they respect mine.


ahhh....
just different worlds, i guess
borne-out of different minds.


sometimes i hear them say
"she's living a rich life"
i am, because that's my choice.


life is meant to be enjoyed to the fullest
i am given all i need
to have a good/rich life.


the best things in life are free (if you believe)
i still believe.

Feeling light, and room looking bright after emptying my closet literally half of its contents. Even stuff under the bed was radically reduced.
There is no more waiting for the forces of nature to come and force a clean-up time.


This year seems to be a clean-up year for me and the house too. In less than a year, it's been the third haul for the charity guys to come and take all the unused, hoarded, unneeded or discarded stuff.


There was just sooo much collected material. The attic was full of stuff from all the people who came, lived, left, and still living in the house where I live.


My house mates and other relatives around are mostly in their teens and early 20's. They are not what you can call 'rich' but they, nevertheless, make it a point to be always in sync with whatever the current fashion is. (And you know how fashion quickly changes these days, it races with the changes in the weather). These young ones are bent to shopping and swapping, and those they cannot swap, or those they consider are no longer of use to them, they keep tossing to the attic.


On the other hand, the older ones who lived, or still living in the house are bent to hoarding. Their hoarded goods have also been sitting in the attic and have been forgotten for eternity.


It was my task to organize those "discarded treasures" and dispose them off.


And having done that, I feel lighter and better.


The next things that shall go would be books.


Hopefully though, I, myself will be disciplined enough not to collect again.

This is a bit long, and maybe a bit strong.
But if you're interested to read, sit down, relax and keep an open mind.




This post was inspired by a recent correspondence with a friend. I met him about a couple of years ago when I was just beginning my travel adventure and while he was just ending his 6 months adventure in Southeast Asia. Though he was depressed to leave, his time was up so he had to go.


While in his country, doing the things he had to do, his thoughts were preoccupied with his comeback plan to Asia. He had been patiently counting the years, months, days: "only two more years and I am off to Asia, forever." Or so he thought.


We had been corresponding and all I could suggest to him while he dreamed and longed for Asia, was to enjoy where he is at the moment, because  it doesn't really make a difference where one is. In my traveling experience, I have confirmed the truth of 'everywhere is the same.' It is what is going on in your heart and mind that matters, and that which makes a difference in yourself and in how you conduct your life. It is not how many places you have been, it is not where you are, it is not how many exotic food you have eaten, etc, etc..


But he didn't listen to me, he still believed that Asia is the best for him and he wants to be around Asian people, to be with an Asian woman, and to work and live in Asia. He loves Asian culture and he made a pretty good effort to learn Asian languages and culture. Young as he is, I could say that he is pretty integrated and an open-minded westerner. (He attribute this  to his hometown in Toulouse, South of France, where, comparatively, there is a good mix of people from different parts of the world, a warmer climate and more relaxed atmosphere).


Very funny, while Asian people  are dreaming of 'golden' Europe, many European people are dreaming of exotic, exciting, and warmer people of Asia.


A month before he flew back to Asia, his emails were nothing but full of excitement of being able to again speak the local lingo, to eat the local food, go trekking, surfing, exploring un-touristic places, meet interesting people, etc, etc.


So he came back, very happy, met some old friends, went to the usual bars, visited his favorite places/countries, went even further to what he described as paradise nooks--where there are no throngs of tourists around.


Certainly, he wanted to come and see me. But I told him not this time, not in this season, and not in my current 'mode'. I was not going to go and show somebody around in this typhoon season. He said he understood.


After less than two months in only 2 countries, he suddenly announced to everybody that he is going back to Europe. Everybody was surprised. His announcement in FB got many reactions. Why? What happened? What's next?



So I emailed to ask him what the heck is the matter. What happened to his "forever" dream to be in Asia.


1. He said that it wasn't the same as before.

2. That his country is not as bad as he had originally thought. (I told him so! It is the same everywhere, with the pros and cons of each country. Plus it is a well known fact that South of France is one of the warmer, more social, and less phony parts of Europe!)


3. That he somehow realized he did not want a flighty lifestyle: "but i want to live comfortable, nice apartment , etc.................not with a backpack.............but still with friends from all over the world of course.."


4. In his own words, I quoted: "but ye, i m little sick of travelling people now.... i really don't like it anymore, it's bullshit..........dirty european travellers...not integrated into society.............."


Ha ha! what could I do but laugh!
Although quite unexpected of him to say that he is sick of travelers, it's nice to see people's views about their own. And I perfectly understand what he meant. I've seen many such travelers also. I thought they're supposed to travel to widen their perspectives but instead, they go around dragging their own 'sh_t, sorry for the bloody term. They go around with their homegrown prejudices, biases, ingrained ways of thinking that do not apply to the local situation, arrogance, etc. And they have very little effort to learn the language, to learn and understand the culture of their host country. Instead, they just go on criticizing the different ways of their host countries. Though, admittedly, they are maybe rightly criticizing the 'substandard' methods of their host country, comparing it to their more standard and better way of doing things, but what the heck, it is just your host country, you're not going to live there forever, so why try to fix the whole f_ck_n' system? Fix yourself first, man. Moreover, you have just arrived, there is so much you don't know yet about the whole situation of your host country, so why go on blabbering about how bad this is and how bad that is? And lastly, if they have not heard it yet: "While in Rome, do what the Romans do." It pays to bend yourself a little, you, so-called seasoned (or even to the unseasoned) traveler!



Asians who go to Europe  are more willing to adjust and play by the rules because they know where they stand. They even go to the point of being kowtowing slaves just so in order to earn a living and to keep harmonious relations with the people of their host country. They are willing to do all the shit-work in the West. In contrast, many westerners coming to Asia still want to insist on their own ways.




But to balance it out, here's my friend's number 5 reason (though, to stroke my ego a bit, he he, I did not cut away what he and another friend of ours, thought about me).

5. now , i think if i travel again , will be completely different and not that long , know where i m going and who i m visiting and what i want to do.. but anyway ..when i was in indonesia i stayed in real isolated places with no one tourist....., speaking good indonesian with people...so friendly.....but after a while, for them, i'm still a foreigner with a lot of money and nothing else and i hate that...... but i still really like the respectful size of people even if they fuck you by the side....and should probably be like that also in the philippines, i know they love money from westerners....but i know you are different......and willy my friend, knows as well, he said very good things about you.....



Here was some of my reply to him:

many southeast asians would think you have money, they think all westerners have a lot of money.. they want your money, and that is because they don't have it so they want it.. but if you were them, very poor like them, do you think you'd want to get money too?? to help survive or help the family??... But certainly though, their lack of money is of course not enough reason to cheat and be disrespectful of other people.. so they are to blame, but in order to understand their mentality, try to be in their shoes.. 

on the other hand, i also know and have seen many travelers/backpackers who are very stingy with the locals.. i've seen travelers who ask too much discount until the discount they ask becomes utterly unreasonable, lower than what the locals, themselves, pay... what do these travelers think of themselves?


and also, travelers carrying their heavy backpacks, and you see them very tired and weary yet they are too stingy to take tuktuks because they believe they will be ripped off, or at worst, robbed.. or maybe they are just too plain stingy not to accept assistance from others, and so in turn they don't allow themselves to be of help to others. They only think of themselves, they focus on the thought that they will be cheated, robbed and perhaps murdered by this poverty-stricken, crude-looking Asian (who, in fairness, is only trying to make ends meet). These kinds of undesirable travelers don't even consider that by taking the services of a local in their host country, they are helping to provide one meal for an entire struggling family. And then they go to the bars and spend much money getting drunk or binging on some food. Meanwhile, the poor tuktuk driver is up all night hoping to find some passengers to serve, in exchange of a little money. So who is more crude, really?


and sure, there are locals who also make their prices extremely expensive..but if you call yourself a traveler, you shall have known that this is a part of the game, and so you shall be open to learn the art of negotiation... for unless a traveler is truly a moron, he will not be cheated for a couple of a hundred bucks.


but if in case you were ripped-off a couple of hundred bucks and don't want to call yourself a moron, or even to avoid blaming someone else, just think that you gave it out to charity and don't take it to heart, it is just money anyway.. Your harmonious interaction with other people will give you more security, because really, it is not your money that gives you security while you travel around.



Of course I did not have to mention all the above things to my friend because I know I didn't have to. But of all I've told him, he had been very receptive and he said he thinks and hopes he was not that kind of undesirable traveler when he was in Asia.


I also mentioned to him that even if he is just an innocent traveler who comes in peace, but the fact that everything is interrelated, the desperation of some materially-deprived people can badly affect him. A young, idealistic, European traveler, whose only wish is to experience the good part of Asia is not spared from the problem of poverty, a social problem which everyone of us contributed to.


Despite all I told him about western biases, in the end he still maintained his love of Asia and traveling and people when he said:

i still love asia, and travel, and want to live with an asian woman, even if we live in europe.............that s my dream........



By the way, to those who are curious about how he looks like, he is a dashing young man of French-Algerian and Polish descent, now, can you just picture that? lol!




note: "Traveler" as  used here is referring to the backpacking traveler, not your usual tourist type.

like arrows flying from the sky
diagonally, driven by the wind
vanishing, as they hit earth


keeping warm, watching
red shawl, red cap, red socks
beating the drum to the rhythm of my heart


ferocious games being played
forces of nature displayed
serenity of the heart unfazed