A Charmed Life: A travelogue:: The Questor

Showing posts with label The Questor. Show all posts

Happiness is Elusive

Saturday, April 10, 2010 - - 3 comments

we too often hear it said: happiness is elusive.

it is true.

because happiness is not found in money, prestige, success in this or that endeavor; happiness is found in the combination of all these!

but, even these are not enough, actually.

authentic happiness comes from within, from a state of equanimity.

if i were to measure life, i would measure it based on the happiness or joy i derive from every activity i involve myself in. not in how much money or how high I have achieved in the competition struggle. don't get me wrong, i do not scoff at money or achievements. believe me, i love these!!!

money is good; it allows me to live a comfortable existence, and it gives me the freedom to do the things i love to do...

a certain degree of competition is good; i surely did enjoy some competition in the past, which served only to strengthen my character.

but i see money, accomplishments, and "winning" in competitions as only add-ons. i believe real happiness comes from inner contentment and peace.

oh, tell me, am i just getting old?

inner peace, freedom, and universal love are three things i value most, which do bring me happiness.

so i think the question to be asked while alive is: "am i genuinely happy?"

if the answer is negative, then hell, make yourself happy! you owe it to yourself. no one else can make you happy but yourself.

there is a saying: what does it profit a man to own the whole world but loses his soul?

is the same with: what does it profit a man to possess everything but joy and happiness?

Life Path: Lucky 7

Wednesday, April 07, 2010 - - 4 comments

"great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds"

- Einstein

Artemis, your Life Path of 7 ...

You are a reserved, analytical and peace-loving soul who is blessed with intuition and intelligence. Your ability to concentrate, learn and absorb information far outshines other numbers and you often excel at all forms of scholastics. Usually your intellectual prowess as well as the clarity and foresight of mind is very evident to others at an early age.

However, at the same time you are also a very spiritual number. This is because you believe whole heartedly in the relationship between Mother Nature and science. This is part of your inquisitive nature and determination to get to the bottom of what makes the world tick.

You dislike braggarts, gossips and neurotic individuals and find socializing difficult. This is because you can barely hold back your contempt of other people, who are often, indeed acting like fools. You dislike crowds, noise and confusion, so others are more likely to find you watching television at home rather than attending a big sports events.

As you are so intelligent and intuitive, you almost always end up being in the right place at the right time. Number 7's tend to excel at any career that they choose as they have the discipline and mental power to master anything in half the time of the other numbers. As they are so smart, they are also often very good with money and never make the mistake of letting compound interest work against them. If you are a seven then you are the number that is probably the most reluctant to lend or borrow money.

Your mind works at the speed of lightning but often this makes it difficult for you to be understood by others. Others simply cannot evaluate or analyze information as fast as you. Some 7's have such quick minds that they have difficulty expressing themselves. One of your life path challenges is to learn how to slow down and accommodate those that may not be as smart as you but may offer you emotional rewards in your life.

* "slow down and accommodate ..."-- tehee, what a sacrifice!

The fact that you are so easily misunderstood makes social and love situations very challenging for you. Usually 7's suffer a great deal of rejection from their peers as they are seen as contemptuous and aloof. Overcoming shyness is also a common problem for sensitive 7's who can't understand why others don't appreciate how smart they are.

You are not likely to have a wide circle of friends, but once you do accept someone as your friend the bond is usually for life. The same thing goes for your love life. It is not unusual for a seven to go their entire life without a partner simply because you cannot relate to the emotions and drama that accompany most relationships. This causes you to appear self-centered to others as you opt to spend your time on more interesting subjects.

* :-) .. yes, "on more interesting subjects" indeed, lol!

some friends accuse me of being cold and unemotional just because i really can't stand their indulgence in too much drama, and the melodramatic movies they love to watch.

As emotions are very trying for your brilliant mind, you may find yourself feeling very unbalanced when you are in a relationship. More than any other number you are very prone to negative codependent behaviors such as obsession or acting out fears of abandonment on a partner. For this reason many close personal relationships don't often last.

* emotions very trying for my brilliant mind? tell me, is this a curse?

* close personal relationships don't often last? not very true in the past but possibly from now on as I have been discovering more of myself :-)

You are happiest when you are alone to pursue your innermost thoughts and inner dreams. You may also be interested in the occult or metaphysical matters as well as science, anthropology, archaeology and religions. Many number 7's are great music lovers as it is an art form that blends math with spiritual qualities.

*... i'm a music lover though i'm not a musician. the math they teach in school (or maybe how they teach it?) is not loved by me. the rest of the description is 99.9 % correct.

...

try yours @ http://123numerology.com, and see if it resonates. it's for free but requires email address.

* * *

there was once a friend of mine who is exceptionally brilliant. his Life-Path too, is number 7. though he is a genius and has a very strong character, he treats people really harshly - in the way he talks to them. i felt sorry for these people so i told him to be more compassionate; to be more accommodating and tolerant of the weaknesses of others. what is being a genius for if not accompanied by compassion and understanding of the different Life-Path of others?

i reminded him Jewel's song: "in the end, kindness is all that matters."

his response was something i did not expect. he posed the question:

"is the strong gonna stoop down to the level of the weak?"

he says that it serves the weak better to look to the strong, for challenge and motivation. so they could strive to strengthen their character and upgrade their level of intelligence. he said that he is being severe with the weak because he wants to challenge them and mold their characters - that he is acting as a "worthy opponent" to the warriors who take the challenge. and that by being a worthy opponent, he is in fact being compassionate.

his words made sense to me as it reminded me of Carlos Castaneda's worthy opponent, Dona Catalina, who stood in the way in his quest to become an impeccable warrior. Because of Carlos' "worthy opponent," who really was "worthy" for a warrior like his caliber, Carlos amassed more power.

Then there was this Indian guru who said something like this: if there are 20 poor people, and there's only 1 person who is wealthy, as an act of compassion and spirituality, is it advisable for the wealthy one to distribute his wealth to the 20 poor people?

the answer is NO, for that would NOT make the 20 poor people become rich. that would only make more poor people, as there will now be 21 poor people.

the wealthy person's task is to be a good example to the other 20 poor people, on how to become prosperous.

... such is the dilemma of a number 7; how to balance the gift of intelligence with compassion.

... hence, the Title of my Blog

Wednesday, March 17, 2010 - - 3 comments

... is, A Charmed Life: Life's a Play, because my "Life Expression" number is:

Your Potential Natural Talents and Abilities

You are at the height of your self-expression when you feel that others are experiencing "being high on life" like you are. One of your personal goals may be to uplift humanity or spread joy or enthusiasm wherever you go. You know how to unite others through the magic of performance, song, dance, singing, acting or literature. For this reason, you are fated to entertain others in some way, whether you are in showbiz or not!

-- no showbiz for me, writing, storytelling, and dance, yes!

You are imaginative in every way possible. As you are a great innovator your career choice may be unorthodox in some way. You consider the accumulation of experiences to be your greatest wealth so you may choose a career in which you travel a lot so you can meet as many people and encounter as many different kinds of situations as possible.

You love to dare to be grand and this is reflected in your mannerisms and speech. You often speak in full paragraphs and are a captivating storyteller. You often throw your entire body into your self-expression so that it is one with what you are saying. For this reason many of you make incredible actors, opera singers, teachers or performers.

You also have a natural dexterity that makes it easy for you to learn and play music. Threes are often blessed with a natural sense of comic timing as well as rhythm. This makes you an excellent dancer and lover.

You love philosophy and the old cliches that are true in life so when you feel lost emotionally you rely on wise words to get you through. You rarely take anything that happens to you in life personally, a trait that frustrates your enemies to no end. This ability to let stuff "roll off your back" serves you well in the many complex emotional situations that threes often get into.

-- i'm a wandering philosopher, or is it wondering? lol.

You relate better to large groups of people then you do one on one. As threes are often no shows in their family lives and rarely have time to pay attention to their lovers they are likely to show their affection by giving lavish gifts. However this is often perceived by others as an attempt to buy others affection or as a lousy substitute for real emotional support.

-- uh, uh, does not resonate.

As you adore being in the spotlight you probably dress to impress. Either you dress in the latest trendy fashions or in an eccentric fashion that makes it impossible for others not to notice you. As you are an oddly sentimental creature, you are fond of heirlooms and one of a kind jewelry and clothing that sets you apart from the crowd.

-- dress to impress!?! :-) I don't usually dress to impress, but i do relatively like to dress differently, specially using some weird accessories.. tehee..

One of the greatest gifts you have to offer others is your boundless optimism and enthusiasm for life. Others who meet you rarely forget you as you always make a permanent first impression.

-- a charmed life

Although on the surface you might appear to be a bit shallow to others usually you are motivated by the desire to have others transcend petty emotions and pains in life. Nothing annoys you more than a person that insists on looking down at his shoes when he could be looking up at a big wide sky full of stars. The ultimate achievement of your life expression is to change the consciousness of others so that they aspire to their highest ideals.

All in all, 97% accurate, but most people actually don't know me, even those who think they do.

What is Expression Number? 

This is sometimes known as the Destiny Number
or the Personality number.

This sum describes all of the talents and potentials that are
at your disposal in this lifetime and is calculated from the
letters that compose your full birth name.  It represents what
kind of ideals or standards that you need to live up to in
this lifetime to be "complete."

CHRIST-mAss Consiousness

Thursday, December 24, 2009 - - 2 comments


Let him who has ears hear.



Jesus said, "Let him who seeks continue seeking until he
finds. When he finds, he will become troubled. When he becomes
troubled, he will be astonished, and he will rule over the All."



Jesus said, "If those who lead you say, 'See, the Kingdom is
in the sky,' then the birds of the sky will precede you. If they
say to you, 'It is in the sea,' then the fish will precede you.
Rather, the Kingdom is inside of you, and it is outside of you.
When you come to know yourselves, then you will become known, and
you will realize that it is you who are the sons of the living
Father. But if you will not know yourselves, you dwell in poverty
and it is you who are that poverty."



Jesus said, "The man old in days will not hesitate to ask a
small child seven days old about the place of life, and he will
live. For many who are first will become last, and they will
become one and the same."



Jesus said, "Men think, perhaps, that it is peace which I
have come to cast upon the world. They do not know that it is
dissension which I have come to cast upon the earth: fire, sword,
and war. For there will be five in a house: three will be against
two, and two against three, the father against the son, and the
son against the father. And they will stand solitary."



Jesus said, "I shall give you what no eye has seen and what
no ear has heard and what no hand has touched and what has never
occurred to the human mind."




The disciples said to Jesus, "Tell us what the Kingdom of
Heaven is like."
  He said to them, "It is like a mustard seed, the smallest of
all seeds. But when it falls on tilled soil, it produces a great
plant and becomes a shelter for birds of the sky."



Jesus saw infants being suckled. He said to His disciples,
  "These infants being suckled are like those who enter the
Kingdom."
  They said to Him, "Shall we then, as children, enter the
Kingdom?"
  Jesus said to them, "When you make the two one, and when you
make the inside like the outside and the outside like the inside,
and the above like the below, and when you make the male and the
female one and the same, so that the male not be male nor the
female female; and when you fashion eyes in the place of an eye,
and a hand in place of a hand, and a foot in place of a foot, and
a likeness in place of a likeness; then will you enter [the
Kingdom]."




His disciples said to Him, "Show us the place where You are,
since it is necessary for us to seek it."
  He said to them, "Whoever has ears, let him hear. There is
light within a man of light, and he (or "it") lights up the whole
world. If he (or "it") does not shine, he (or "it") is darkness."




The disciples said to Jesus, "Tell us how our end will be."
  Jesus said, "Have you discovered, then, the beginning, that
you look for the end? For where the beginning is, there will the
end be. Blessed is he who will take his place in the beginning;
he will know the end and will not experience death."

-- Quotes from the Gospel of Thomas (part 1)

and Buddha belly-laughs!

want to become christ?

Tuesday, December 01, 2009 - - 2 comments

There is a story about how a young man came to the master and said: "I want to become a Christ."

The master said: " How much gold would you give?"

The young man said: "All of it because I could manifest anything even gold if I was a Christ."

The master said: "Right answer, for you have mastered detachment but wrong reason for becoming a Christ." Then the master said: "They will hate you, you will reflect back to them their own lack of self worth, love, joy and bliss, their lack of self mastery. You will also amplify all the fear, guilt, anger, and unworthiness within them for which they will blame you."

The young man said: " I still want to reach my highest level of enlightenment."

The master said: "The first thing you will have to master is any need for approval, acceptance or love outside of yourself, only then will you be able to stay the course, master loving detachment and love unconditional without reaction. Then and only then can you maintain the constant flow of God and serve others telling them what they need to hear not what they want to hear for which again they will hate you."

- James Gilliland www.eceti.org

Coming Back

Saturday, November 21, 2009 - - 3 comments

Much have been going-on recently. I went to the countryside for a week, which was a good breather and a change of environment.

I came back inspired but accidentally deleted a month's worth of work. It was mortifying! (that's what happens when you are ignorant about computers). It was a very simple problem that required a very simple solution. But in my panic, it became complicated leading to a 'major' computer tweaking.

Anyway, I spent a stressful four days trying to piece things back together, especially with the machine. And after everything was restored back to normalcy, I spent a few more days recovering from the shock. How could that have happened? How can I be so unaware? How could have I been misled from the shortcut solution that would have solved the problem in a matter of minutes?

But then as they say, there is always a reason for everything. Because of that sudden pause in my smoothly flowing (and perhaps dreamy) existence, I got to reconnect with at least 3 people. Still, I am tempted to think whether it was all worth all the stress, anxiety and the unnecessary loss. Well, maybe. And if we think in terms of "eternity," in the long run, what happened may certainly be for the good of all.

Yet still...
Yes, my computer is now fixed, but can I just get back the lost file too? So I don't have to re-do everything again? If I have to re-do, and it takes another month, it would be like time-warp, one month gone to black hole.

As I said, it took a few more days to psychologically recover from that unexpected break in my smooth-going momentum. Maybe I am just exaggerating, or over-reacting to what happened. A friend advised to let go and not to be attached to what is gone. (What is really gone is nothing like material but only time, energy, and effort.. and I am admittedly a lazy person to re-do what was already done).

But, really, the issue here is not about letting go or anything about "attachment..." It goes deeper than that. You see, I adhere to the "philosophy of effortlessness" -- if something is difficult, it is probably not meant to be, because you are probably going against the natural current.

Since I started this obscure project of mine, exactly about a year ago, everything had been flowing effortlessly. I consulted the omens and they were auspicious. I followed what I believed as guidance and everything seemed to concur, giving me the green light. I calmly watched as things fell into place. Until that 'thing' happened last week, which gave me a lot of headaches. And is now giving me a lot of thinking.

The issue is:

Is this really what I should be doing right now? Or should I be doing something else instead?

I consulted the oracle of Delphi and it is giving me mixed messages. Or perhaps I just don't know how to decipher the messages?

One says, "complete the incomplete, without delay!"
The other simply says: outcome is "Death."

"Death" is not bad, that I understand. It is the ending of something so a beginning could begin. And this "Death" is mostly about "change in consciousness." So, what is it that is about to change? die? or transform?

If there is something that is going to die, I'd rather do nothing until it becomes apparent what is going to change/die, and so I know what I should be doing accordingly.

Because if I start re-doing the 'deleted work' and it was not meant to be, then it would be another waste.

Hmmm... but the problem now could probably be about being caught up with the intricacies of how my mind processes drawbacks like this.

What the heck, why don't I just re-do it and get it over with?!

But, what if.....

Jeeeezzzz.....

Rain

Tuesday, October 06, 2009 - - 0 comments

like arrows flying from the sky
diagonally, driven by the wind
vanishing, as they hit earth

keeping warm, watching
red shawl, red cap, red socks
beating the drum to the rhythm of my heart

ferocious games being played
forces of nature displayed
serenity of the heart unfazed

Cultural Creative?

Friday, August 07, 2009 - - 4 comments

Over fifty million Americans fit the definition of a newly emerging type of humanity, a culture that hardly existed prior to the 1960s.
In a 1990s study of more than 100,000 adults in the United States, Paul Ray and Sherry Anderson reveal that a huge 26 percent of these adults have made a comprehensive shift in their worldview, values and way of life.
In Europe, the story is very much the same. A 1997 survey conducted in fifteen European countries shows figures that are very similar to the United States.

The typical values of this new, leading-edge group of people that they call Cultural Creatives. The Cultural Creatives are people who love nature, respect the Earth and are deeply concerned about the environment. They like to develop close relationships with each other, and to help and encourage other people to develop their abilities. They care about personal and spiritual development, and want more equality for women and all cultural groups.

Cultural Creatives would like to develop a new way of life. They are cynical of media-fed information, and want to find a new political philosophy that works in today’s reality. They are not materialistically driven, and typically have their finances and spending under control.

They like traveling to other countries to get to know new cultures and they want to develop a sense of community where they live. Authenticity is important to Cultural Creatives - their actions have to be consistent with their words and inner beliefs.

This means that if you are searching for better quality of life, less stress, better health, and a simpler lifestyle that includes more spirituality, then you are one of a growing number of people who have already become a part of the greatest social transformation of all time.

- The Cultural Creatives: How 50 Million People Are Changing the World by Paul H. Ray Ph.D. and Sherry Ruth Anderson

I think I'm cultural creative to a degree, but my housemates are not! I see wastefulness, materialism, small-thinking, and most specially boredom, around me. Gotta leave this place soon!

This is my small and simple room, by the way :-) and there's Moxie the kitten (at the edge of the table, tiny one) which I have to give away to a friend because my new housemates could not tolerate co-existing with cute creatures!

Monastic Retreat

Monday, January 05, 2009 - - 2 comments

my first morning at the monastery

To refresh body and soul after half a year of hectic backpacking, I went to a Buddhist retreat south of Thailand. The retreat was just 10 days but it was quite intense for a first timer like me.

monks after the morning begging round

At the retreat, there are certain things to be done and certain things not to be done.

DO’s

1. Sleep in basic accommodation. 1 room for each participant. Each room is provided with a concrete bed, a straw mat, a blanket, a mosquito net, and a wooden pillow. Yes a wooden pillow, it was quite comfortable after a few nights! :-)

2. COMPLETE SILENCE at all times for the duration of the retreat. Avoiding eye contact but you are allowed to smile. :-).

3. Observe appropriate "dress code". Wear shirts covering the shoulders and navel. Pants or skirts below the knee. Clothes should be comfortable, non-transparent and non-provocative. (hi hi)..

4. Turn off mobile phones, MP3s, or any electronic device.

can you spot the tiny frog?

DONT’s

1. No talking during the duration of the retreat.

2. No reading and journaling. (On the 4th day, you may borrow some reading material that are provided to aid you in understanding the methods and philosophies of the Retreat. You can read only during your free time and only inside your room).

3. No laughing or creating other unnecessary noises. (I think crying is allowed though, but do it in secret!. I heard one of my neighbors crying. It is not because she regretted being there. People usually cry because the intensity of the meditations bring out all the suppressed emotions from the past).

A picture of what it was like is summarized in the "DAILY SCHEDULE":

1. Big bell rings and everybody wakes up 4 o’clock every morning. Wash self, dress self.

2. Go for sitting meditation at the Meditation hall. (30 mins).

3. After sitting meditation, join either Tai Chi or Yoga exercises. (about an hour).

Taichi enthusiasts posing for the camera

4. Back to the meditation hall for another sitting meditation or Dharma Talk by one of the monks or organizing staff. (30 mins).

5. At 8:30 Am, Proceed to the dining hall and eat your rice porridge (the same porridge every morning) in complete silence. Have to eat mindfully, savoring every rice gruel. (The rice porridge is not as bad as it may sound. The rice is the ever nutritious and aromatic red rice, mixed with bits of vegetables, maize, or beans. And it comes with some leaves, a banana and tea. Though lacking of strong spices breakfast was in fact very nutritious).

6. Free time after the breakfast. This is the time to take full bath, take a nap, go to the hot springs, but most of all, a time to do your appointed task*.

*Everyone has to choose one chore each such as sweeping the halls, cleaning toilet, picking fallen coconuts, etc. My chore was cleaning the hot spring. This is the best, because just after doing my task, I am the first to soak in the hot spring .

square pond, we walk around this for the walking meditation

7. By 10:30 Am, big bell rings. Go back to sitting meditation, walking meditation and Dharma talk until 12:30 PM.

8. At 12:30 PM, Lunch at dining hall. Lunch is rice with vegetables, tea, and occasionally, some sweets.

9. Free time again after lunch..Do chores if haven’t done already. Some go to the hot springs at this time ( I find this time very hot for the hot springs). So, I usually go back to my room and take a nap.

An ancient ruin atop the highest hill of the monastery.

10. At 2:30 PM, back to the meditation hall… Dharma talk, sitting meditation, walking meditation, siting meditation again, meditation on LOVING KINDNESS, and, chanting..

11. At 5:30, proceed to the dining hall for hot chocolate drink and sometimes bananas. This is called "tea time" but it is also as good as dinner for there is no more eating after this. (meals during the duration of the retreat is 2x a day only).

one of the art works lying around

12. Once more, free time after the tea time. Some people go to the hot springs, some just walk around the area, I go and have a nap (again).

13. By 7:30 Pm, big bell rings to signal everybody to go once more to the meditation hall. Sitting meditation, group walking meditation around the ponds, then sitting meditation again.

circular pound, we walk around here for evening walking meditations.

14. At 9 PM, small bell rings telling everybody that they may quietly go back to their rooms.

15. By 9:15, light goes off.. sleep time… :-) end of the day.

By the way, about 130-150 people came to the retreat. But I reckon, only 90 ladies and gentlemen braved it to the end. I’m one of them, he he. This particular Retreat is designed especially for foreigners and held in English. There were two local Thais and two Filipinos, me included. The other Filipino has a foreign citizenship though.

they came to find silence within their hearts

somewhere inside the monastery compound

Travel Period: December 2007

The Warrior of Light

Thursday, September 25, 2008 - - 0 comments

The Warrior of Light behaves like a child.

People are shocked; they have forgotten that a child needs to have fun and to play, to be slightly irreverent and to ask awkward, childish questions, to talk nonsense that not even he believes in.

And they say horrified: "So this is the spiritual path, is it? He’s so immature!"

The warrior feels proud of such comments. And he remains in touch with God through his innocence and his joy, without ever losing sight of his mission.

- MANUAL of the WARRIOR of LIGHT by Paulo Coelho

When I Was Young I Wanted to Change the World

Tuesday, September 09, 2008 - - 5 comments

When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world.

I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation.

When I found I couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my town.

I couldn't change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family.

Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family.

My family and I could have made an impact on our town.

Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world.”

by Rabbi Israel Salanter (19th Century Professor)

* * *

I used to be a very political being. Politics made my blood rush and it excited me so much. I'm a very inquisitive person and I question everything. In fact people say that I ask too many questions. I was also deep into conspiracy theories and was once a communist (they say, "once a communist always a communist").

I can say that my teen life until my mid-twenties was focused on politics. I found it as one of my early passions. It must be the influence of my father who subscribed to Time magazine and Asia Week when I was growing up as a little girl. Sometimes I hear my father talking to himself after he just read an article. I heard him cursing the Gulf War and George Bush I in the 90's for example.

In the mid 80's when my country was under martial law, and although I didn't understand what was happening, I could feel some inhibition and tension in the atmosphere. I was about 5 to 6 years old, when my father sent me to put anti-government comic magazines in peoples' doorsteps. At first he was adamant to send me for this task, but after he made sure that I understood that I have to be careful that nobody sees what I was doing and that I leave each place immediately, he handed me a bunch of comics and off I went happily trotting towards the neighbors doorsteps.

I would say that at an early age, I was somehow politicized. I started reading any stuff around the house or just looked at the pictures of the magazines I can put my hands on. I saw pictures of the Berlin Wall falling, an idyllic North Korea with leader Kim Il Sung, USSR, Vietnam Wars, and others.

So by the time I was ready for college and was faced with the dilemma of choosing a field of study, I didn't exactly know what to choose as my major. But since politics and philosophizing (asking questions, seeking knowledge) were some things that were already a bit familiar with me, I chose Political Science and Philosophy as my majors.

Later, I dropped Philosophy and shifted to History. I still loved Philosophy but I found out that there was just too much talking and airy-fairy brain-breaking philosophizing without much action being done to effect a real change. Furthermore, the Philosophy being taught in my university was so western-oriented and although it was exciting at first, I felt that there was something lacking. I think what was lacking was some sort of cultural, sociological and historical relation/connection to my roots as an Asian, as a Filipino, and as a member of a certain cultural community.

I found History more practical than Philosophy because it is the actual study of the past in relation to the present and in what may happen in the future. In addition to my politically-oriented academic subjects, I was also a student activist. I was a communist who spent days and nights digesting and discussing politics, and trying to effect change in the world.

Then I applied for a scholarship to go to grad school abroad. My wish was granted, I got a full sponsorship and after 2 more frenzied years of politicking, I graduated with an M.A. in International Relations.

In grad school, I had a good venue to write about controversial issues. I wrote about clash of civilizations, conspiracy theories, and the other non-mainstream politics and knowledge. I always bent towards the alternatives or the less-heard and less popular political persuasions which earned me some mixed recognition from my professors and classmates. One professor simply gave me a B in my clash of civilizations' paper. Another professor called me in to his office to talk about my "very interesting but controversial" paper. One more professor just wrote many "far-fetched" comments in one of my papers, and yet another professor had a chat with me, over a cup of mocha, telling me to better not delve so much about these conspiracy theories.

I don't regret what I did or my way of thinking back then. Although controversial papers gave me low grades and a reputation, I enjoyed what I did and I had fun. I was young, idealistic, agitated, and wanted to shock people and see their funny reactions. And, of course, :-) I wanted to change the world and my nation.

But what is my point in telling this summarized but long story about my politicized self? I tell this story because at this moment in my life, I am no longer very keen about politics. I have had it, I had my time for it, I learned, I enjoyed, I argued, I fought... But now, I need to go on to the next level. I cannot go on talking about politics until I die. I feel that this time in my life is focused towards other things, towards myself especially, and the little that I can contribute around me.

And I am not opposed to people who want to go on talking about politics, or to people who want to instill awareness to others. And I am not an airy-fairy or a floating traveler who doesn't give a damn on what's going on around me. As long as I have some awareness, and know what I am doing, I don't want to be dragged into politicking. It's not because I find politics boring, dirty, corrupt, dangerous, or waste of my time and energy. I can listen to new knowledge (if indeed they are new to me) and make myself aware, but I am not just into debating political issues at this time and I want my decision to be respected.

I am not against people who work within themselves and at the same time politicize. In fact, I admire Ananda Marga for this very stance they have. I have always been a fan of Ananda Marga. A couple of years ago, when one of their gurus gave a talk in my city, I went to see and as I was listening to his talk, something inside me was deeply touched and activated. I liked it when he explained how mankind's suffering can be eased through social and political activism.

There comes a certain point when you feel that you have to change your strategy in the struggle for a better world. Now I feel that point. I'm taking a new path and a new strategy, and although my political self can be aroused one day, this time, I'm mellowed, and I direct my energy towards something else. So if you please excuse me... thank you.

Rhythm of Life

Wednesday, August 20, 2008 - - 4 comments

Throughout the course of your existence, you continually oscillate, like the wave function that you essentially are, in and out of focus, in and out of definition, always moving back and forth, like the pendulum on a clock or the heart of an atom, out of the unity of being with God, into a finite expression of God's infinite potential... and then back into unity once more, back and forth, back and forth. This is the natural rhythm of your existence, just as it is mine. It is the Song of God, the rhythm of Life itself.

Starseed Transmissions: An Extraterrestrial Report by Raphael and Ken Carey

Inner Peace

Monday, June 02, 2008 - - 0 comments

He refraining from such view, grasps at nothing in the world.

And not grasping, he trembles not.

And trembling not, he by himself attains to perfect peace.

And he knows that rebirth is at end.

That the higher life has been fulfilled.

That what had to be done has been accomplished.

And that there is no more becoming. (from Tripatika)

Yoga

Monday, May 26, 2008 - - 0 comments

To silence the chattering mind and be open for new insights from the Universe. To be in tune or in sync with the Great One.

There are many paths. Some people meditate in silence; perform asanas to clean the chakras; chant; go to church, mosques, temples and shrines to sing praises and worship.

Each of us choose what we think is best for us.
My body can't stand a cross-legged posture for more than 5 minutes. I am too lazy to do the asanas. I get tired chanting while the others seem to be elevated in bliss. I get sleepy and bored in church. I go to temples and shrines for sightseeing and exposure to history and culture.

So, what I do? I go to the forest and talk to the trees and plants. I greet the sun every morning, welcome the rain, sing with the wind. I say hello to the dandelion I pass by everyday. I'm good buddies with my house pets, I talk to the neighbors' dogs and cats. Some people may think I'm crazy, but I guess this is just another valid path.

A Charmed Life: Life's a Play!