A Charmed Life: Life's a Play!

This evening, I was trotting down the street when somebody called my name. It was dim and I did not recognize him. I approached the man standing at the edge of the road and it was, whoa! Prof. Bb, one of my profs back in Uni! The last time I chanced on him was 3 years ago. He is now the Dean of my College.

We had the usual brief updating of my whereabouts and 'whatabouts' these days... Then he told me that they are in need of an instructor for _____ at the Uni for the next school year. He strongly encouraged me to apply for the position.


"Mmmmm.." That was simply my response.

They say that when you are told or asked something which requires a yes or no answer, you can correctly come up with an answer by listening to the subtle response from your gut feelings. If it is ahh, aha, (positive), or mmmm... (negative, or in doubt). This strategy is said to work for most people (with some exemptions).

And it happened that my spontaneous response to his invitation was "mmmm"...

So I told him the truth. That I have been invited twice before, in fact thrice (the third time was by this same Prof. when I saw him 3 years ago). So this time makes it my fourth invitation. But I was not taken "in" when I tried for the first couple of times.


The first invitation was when I was a fresh grad. The discipline head of my "division" (now, called "college") at that time personally invited me. But after we had a one-on-one initial interview about the prospect of me applying to teach at the college, he decided that it's better that I get a bit of teaching experience from "other schools" first, then come back to my Alma Mater and we'll make sure that I'll be "in" easily. But I didn't have any interest in teaching in other schools, besides, I had other plans, so I totally forgot about 'teaching' as a first job.


Instead of applying to teach in other schools, I was raring to go back abroad and pursue a Master's Degree. When I came back, I was again invited by some other profs at the Uni. So I went and had to undergo the process of panel interview and presenting a teaching demo in front of the... ahh, how to call them? Dean, discipline heads, and others. But I flunked! I knew I flunked because they did not take me in!


For the third time, I was invited by the upcoming dean of my college at that time: "Come to my office, I'll be the dean next year," he said with a meaningful smile which we both understood (kind of). Although I answered, "Ok, I'll see you soon," I lied. I did not go, didn't have any plan to go. Teaching just did not appeal to me then, and I had other plans as well. If you were me at that time and you were given a choice between being a member of a reputable institution in a very familiar environment, or, exploring other unfamiliar worlds; what would you choose? As for me, I chose to explore the other worlds. I went traveling and took up jobs in different and unfamiliar places.


Now is the fourth time I'm invited, and I realized that the prospect of teaching in a Uni became even farther away for me.


Oh dear me... What does the future hold for me?... As far as background is concerned, it is teaching and academic research which I know best... But, I feel that those are not my real interests. Not anymore...


"Wont you want to try again?" My prof, asked.

"No, I don't think it is for me," I said.

"Oh, your credentials will be wasted." He said with a tone of disappointment.

"I think, it will be used in other ways." I smiled.


I seriously don't know what happened to me after I left the Academia for the past 6 years... Sometimes I long for the past but I know I cannot go back anymore...