A Charmed Life: Life's a Play!

Dear Diary. Today is Tuesday, the 16th. as planned I met Yuki at the station at 10 this morning and we went for the trip in search for a guy.. yes, guy-hunting, it waz. we're not able to find him. how could we expect to find one man amidst thousands of students anyway? aren't we silly girls? the woman at the office told us that they forwarded to him the postcard that I sent about a couple of months ago. and that they also called him after Yuki called them (the office of student affairs) 2 weeks ago...and then the woman asked in a rather sarcastic tone: "why, didn't he call you back? we cannot give you his information if he himself does not contact you." the woman in charge of student affairs looked really annoyed at us, giving us the look that as if we are crazy, desperate or cheap girls.. maybe we were, but what's wrong with looking up for a friend? maybe we are coming on too strong?.. anyway we left the office immediately like disappointed puppies. we went to get some food at the university cafeteria for we were starving, having walked a lot from the 3 boys dormitories, and not finding a trace of Ken.


Yuki had another good idea, we wrote another letter.. but she didn't want to hand it to the woman we talked with earlier, she said she doesn't have good vibes. I also didn't want to be the one to give the letter, i can't speak the language.. what if the woman asks me something and i couldn't understand her?! I had to convince Yuki that when we were leaving the office i looked back at the woman, and for a very brief moment, we stared at each other, and I saw her initially stony face changed into a compassionate expression, as if she suddenly had an understanding... anyway, i had to hand the letter to the woman.. my intuition was right, she became really kind, saying that she'll give the letter to Ken and smiling sincerely, even Yuki was very surprised of her sudden transformation.


So if he has been being informed why didn't he call Yuki or email me, even to acknowledge? was he shy? is mere shyness even a valid enough reason? he does not like me? have i been wrong in my feeling all along? i have very strong gut feeling that I will see him again... now I think the "friendly love letter" we left at the office is perfect. it will resolve whatever doubts and speculations i have.. He has the choice if he wants to meet me or not, there's no more excuse.


Dear Diary. today is Wednesday, the 17th. i just came back home. went out with Mathias for dinner and then we went down to the river and talked. i told him about Ken and his strange silence. i feel better now after talking with Mathias though he didn't give me any comforting opinion on what i shall do. Mathias said that the guy now has my contacts and he knows i'm looking for him and it's up to him to contact me if he likes. somehow I'm not convinced that Ken doesn't want to see me, I think he just doesn't know what to do. If he could only call Yuki or email me. Anyway, this crazy Zan is still around...


at first, when i told the story of the strange way of meeting Ken to the girl-friends, everybody was excited and wanted to see how he looks like, girly stuff you know.. but when i told it to a couple of guy friends, they were skeptic. Hex even joked that i'm just making up stories.. and later, when I told Mathias the story, his reaction was also mixed.. what's this difference between the guys and the girls' reactions? and now, 2 months later, even the girls seem to lose hope for me...